two days

__2005-01-04 @ 5:19 p.m._______ Ok, so I'm fully recovered (I think) from the whole binge deal. Although, I'm not really ready to get "back in the game," I'll certainly find myself sitting in a bar soon enough. I didn't leave my house for 2 days and didn't leave my room for a full day 2 days ago and really want to smoke pot now...problem is, I don't wanna leave the house and I don't want to spend the money. So unless someone wants to come over and get me high for free, it's lookin' pretty unlikely. I've recorded two songs, ate burritos, but didn't put the two together (Pete, what the fuck were you thinking?), watched Eternal Sunshine like 3 times, applied for 23049 jobs, obssessed about a crush I have that I know will never be realized, jumped on my bed for exercise, listened to the song the sound of coming down like 345 times, started reading White Noise, watched football, tried the sock trick a couple of times (not that big of a deal if you ask me but whatev), climbed out of my window onto the porch for a smoke break (kidding, I was bored so I went out there to masterbate- again kidding- I can't remember why I went out there- sleep? drink codiene? yeah I think that was it...), made a list of people I love (kind of a short list I thought- strange- I thought I loved a lot of people...maybe I just couldn't bring myself to say that I truely loved some people even though I really really like them), then made a list of people I hate (really, really short list that consisted of no one- would have been a better list if I would have listed things that I hate that people have done- THAT would have been long), replied to an email from an old ex-girlfriend, and ran the humidifier straight into my face a couple of times to see what would happen (really uneventful and, well, just not something to recommend to anyone for fun). Then, today I left my house and bought a pair of rad shoes that make me stroll and stride not unlike Christopher Walken, which is a good thing, readers. They are black, surprise surprise. I also picked up some boxer briefs- never tried 'em before- we'll see how that goes. The Nolan pics that Joe took of us are killer awesome! Very, killer awesome. Just so you know, in the pics where I look good, that's how I look all the time and in the pics where I look bad, that's how I never look ever. Just remember that- "oh, he kind of looks stupid there...but he did say that he never looks like that so that must not be him, must be the camera..." Exactly. If I'm not mistaken, tomorrow is the two year anniversary of the demise of alto heceta. Seems like a long time ago to me, but there are a lot of things I loved about that band. And honestly, most of it doesn't have to do with the music we made and more to do with the idea of what we were trying to do. There's a time where your ambition outweighs all of reality when you're doing something you love. Let downs aren't as expected and when they do come you have a fight in you that can't be denied...maybe a better way to say this is that youthfulness and ambition was alto heceta's strongest trait. We weren't setting out to change the world but we certainly wanted to think that we were capable of rocking on a national or even international scale. Or maybe that was me...but it seemed like we were all there. Look at me getting all teary-eyed...who am I kidding, I'm just rambling here. Links- John Roderick is funny Bob and Richard 'It Looked Pretty Bleak' << | >>