__2005-01-08 @ 1:19 a.m._______
I can reason with many things. And if it's a strength of mine, it's a weakness as well. In the end, I want a lot of people to give me advice on things, like I need it and stuff, but really, I'm gonna do whatever the fuck I want or think is right. So when someone says that girl is such a bitch you should totally never date her, it's like, immediately I'm thinking of reasons why it would work. And it's not like the reverse psych thing works, because I can usually tell. Really, I sometimes think that I just want to hear people's voices make sounds at me and watch their faces move with concern about my problems. I mean, don't get me wrong, I really wanna hear what you have to say, and every once in awhile I'm like "hey, that was really good advice." But really, I just want to hear your concerned voice make noises at me...I like it. Someone recently told me not to date someone 'cause "she's such a cold hearted bitch, Dino, seriously!" And I was like "yeah, but you're a republican! That's why you think she's a bitch." That was funny.
Goddamnit, I'm drinking a beer for the first time in almost a week and it STILL hurts! Maybe I need to give my body a little more time to recover. I didn't go out tonight (surprise surprise)...I mean, it's Ottawa minus the friends back home for fill-in-the-blank-holiday. If I don't get a job soon I just might drive myself insane...I just apply and apply and apply for jobs- no one's hiring right now I guess...either that, or that prostitution work experience bit on the old resume didn't really rub anyone the right way...they didn't get it was a joke or something.
So, I'm coming to the realization that The Long Winters album When I Pretend to Fall is one of those records that will define this period of my life...like the past year and a half, right now, and the next year or so. I'm STILL listening to it pretty regularly and every song is amazing. I was in the car the other day and kept on rewinding the beginning of The Sound of Coming Down, like the first verse, like seven times in a row just to sing it over and over again as loud as possible. And I'm sorry, but the song Nora still kills me.
But she never says 'I love you'
'til I say 'I love you'
like we're exchangin' hostages
I guess it's all for the best
she knows what she wants,
and I know what she's gonna get."
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