I'm not a player, I don't crush a lot, but ocassionally...

__2005-01-11 @ 11:17 p.m._______ So there's this whole thing with having a crush just to have someone to think about that you know will never really be realized- after awhile you start to get bored with your own fantasy and it fades and it's kind of sad. I mean, there needs to be some kind of real life development at some point, right? BUT, one thing that is cool is that the person becomes an angel in your mind- they can do no wrong, never have, and seem incapable of ever being anything other than what your now distant impression entails. In my entire life, I've never been someone that has multiple amounts of crushes, been a big dater, been involved in the beginnings of multiple "situations," or flirted habitually. I don't know what it is...I just don't really do the pursuit thing unless I really want it. Believe me, if this crush was someone that I could actually date without complications, I would be into it and therefore show definite interest. Unfortunately, I don't think it's really worth getting tangled up in, considering the recent series of events that have happened. I guess I'm just glad the person isn't hangin' around all the time or available to hang around all the time, otherwise I might not have a choice.:) I mean, we know how these things go, right? My eating habits are just horrific, let me tell ya. First off, today I didn't eat a damn thing until about 5:30pm and then had a single serving of tuna casserole and a couple of chocolate cake things for dinner. Then, later on I had a cheese and lettuce sandwich. I just can't eat on some days...it's like I'm nervous or something and my stomach just won't take. It kind of bothers me that I haven't gained any weight back. It's winter for Christ Sake! I'm supposed to gain weight not lose it. But I shouldn't complain- that's the least of my problems right now. Listening to one of my all-time favorite albums- Yo La Tengo's I Can Hear The Heart Beating As One. Next time I run into Ira I'm gonna ask him what it's like to make a perfect album. Last time I talked to him he was getting pumped for his first Wrigley Field experience and was concerned that the game he and Georgia were going to wasn't going to mean anything, as the Cubs were about to clinch a spot in the playoffs. The next time we'll have to talk about this record though. Not going to get into it again. But I do heart Yo La Tengo and this album...enough to seriously consider getting a tattoo about it. << | >>